Top 11 Songs with "Wedding" in the Title That Should Never be Played at a Wedding

on Jun 3, 2013

Start practicing your Funky Chicken and speak now or forever hold your peace, because wedding season is here to yank tears of happiness out of your eyes and devour your weekend plans. In fact, we love weddings so much that our very own Kyle decided to get one himself last weekend! He's the one on the left, with the antlers:
(Those two deer made it through fine, but the delicious cake they were perched on did not survive the night.)

Weddings have been a rich source of inspiration for songwriters as long as there have been both weddings and songs, which we're pretty sure is a long time. However, one must be careful when compiling their playlist for the reception, because a song about a wedding is not necessarily a "wedding song." If you have been assigned DJ duty this year and are currently shopping around, buyer beware: listen closely to those lyrics before you download...

11:  Billy Idol  -  "White Wedding"

Let's just get this one out of the way. Yes, Billy Idol's greatest hit is surely played at many weddings, because some folks can't leave a bad joke alone.

10:  The Swords Project  -  "Shannon's Wedding Song"

Solid live performance found here:
(Fun fact: we were at the show this video was taken at, because we're not very young.) Disqualifying lyric: There are no lyrics, and it's actually a beautiful song, but it is also a long GYBE-gone-delicate instrumental, one that will probably not go down well when your relatives want to get sloppy on the dance floor.

9:  The Wrens  -  "I Won't Come to Your Wedding"

Not that Wrens, but a 1950's doo-wop group also called the Wrens. Seriously though, that would also be a perfect title for a song by the other Wrens.
Disqualifying lyric: See title.

8:  Outkast  -  "Dracula's Wedding"

Disqualifying lyric: "...but I'm terrified of you," repeated ad nauseum.

7:  Kate Bush  -  "The Wedding List"

Delightful live performance found here:
Disqualifying lyric: "All of the headlines said "Passion Crime: Newlywed's Groom Shot Dead" should give you an idea of what's on Ms. Bush's to-do list.

6:  Radiohead  -  "A Punchup at a Wedding"

Disqualifying lyric: Take your pick! This song is essentially "I Gotta Feeling" played backwards;  aimed at ironic wedding receptions instead of Bar Mitzvahs.

5:  Mark Lanegan  -  "Wedding Dress"

Disqualifying lyric: The most disqualifying aspect of this one is possibly Mark Lanegan's inimitable voice, because typically you don't want to play songs with "haunting" vocals on joyous occasions...but a line like "The end could be soon, we'd better rent a room" comes to mind.

4:  The Wombats  -  "My First Wedding"

Disqualifying lyric: "She's my heartless bitch that I just can't seem to get enough of" is one of many.

3:  Smog  -  "Your Wedding"

Album version found here:
Disqualifying lyric: There are basically two lines in the whole song, but it is Smog, so both of them.

2:  Guided by Voices  -  "Big Boring Wedding"

Disqualifying lyric: As to be expected, the lyrics for this one are a bit random/esoteric, but there are enough darts like "It's hard to imagine that you just wanna leave," that you shouldn't take the risk. And don't play "Game of Pricks" either, no matter how much you love it!

1:  Damien Jurado  -  "Wedding Cake"

Disqualifying lyric: Well, the chorus is "It was clearly never meant to be," but the whole thing is a domestic tragedy set to an upbeat strummy backdrop, and would surely bring anyone's big day to an awkward, upsetting halt. Nice tune, though.

And one more picture of Billy Idol, for symmetry...