"It's the vision that sets in
motion whatever the powers are in the Universe that helps us create what we
want"
-Pete Carroll, head coach of the
Seattle Seahawks, quoted in the book Hero
by Rhonda Byrne (author of The Secret)
The Universe: friend of football. Why would the Universe want to help one little ol' NFL team? Because the Universe loves to watch athletes perform at the peaks of human ability, it loves the thrill of competition, and it loves to choose sides. The Universe is always choosing sides. It chose Burr over Hamilton, Edison over
Tesla, Oasis over Blur (at least at the time). The Super Bowl is, year in and year out, a reliable way to find
out whose side the Universe is really on. A look at the teams that have
returned to the big game decade after decade reveals, for example, the Universe’s
preference for working class toilers (the Steelers, the Packers), capitalist
gold hoarders (the 49ers), and, of course, cowboys. (On the Wild West note,
it’s also worth considering that the Universe spent some serious time in the
90’s relentlessly taunting Buffalo.) The Universe sure does love it some
America, that’s for true.
Who
does the Universe love more: the Seahawks or the Broncos? Well, for one, as of
this Friday, per the Chinese calendar, 2014 becomes the friggin’ Year of the
Horse. But, as the good people at Field Gulls have
already pointed out, that might not be the harbinger of
Hawk-doom it seems to be. Perhaps the better question is: who should the Universe love more? And really, we’re
not just talking about the teams themselves here -- those poor dudes have already been the
subject of endless stat-chats and irritating speculation and we can’t be
bothered with that any more. (Though we will say this to the Denver defense: don't play crooked like New Orleans, have mercy on Percy!)
The bigger picture here is a tale of two cities. One of them has
bestowed upon the world high quality airplanes, computer stuff, and coffee. The other has
served up a half-decent omelet and an evil, evil airport.
Musically speaking (as we are typically inclined to be speaking), Seattle is the birthplace of Jimi Hendrix, Quincy Jones,
Sir Mix-a-Lot, that whole flannel rock thing that happened, and now, in an odd denouement of sorts,
Macklemore. Denver, on the other hand, gave us Christie Front Drive. Six of one…
Not
that Seattle and Denver aren’t similar in some ways. We’re mostly talking about
how psyched the citizens of both towns are to get all potted up on legal weed now, but they are also
both, for the most part, cool and open-minded cities surrounded by mountains,
New Age weirdos, and gun-hugging white trash. But the one thing that Seattle and
its brutal, beautiful blue and green (blue to keep it cool, green to get that
money!) Seahawks have that no other city or team in the world has is the Win Forever Pyramid. If you don’t yet know what we are talking about, behold!
Pete
Carroll invented this glorious non-food pyramid to harness the powers of the
Universe to help the Seahawks win. Forever. If you want to win not just today,
not just tomorrow, but until the end of time and beyond, you better remember your ABC’s: Always Be
Carroll-ing. In that spirit, we have come up with a corresponding motivational
soundtrack to help inspire the Seattle Seahawks to ultimate victory over Peyton
the Prize Pony and his Pack of Rocky Mountain Oysters. Behold again!
The Win
Forever Playlist
The Mountain Goats – “High Hawk Season”
It’s not “Eye of the Tiger,” but there
aren’t a lot of motivational “hawk” songs out there, and sometimes it’s nice to
start things off quietly…
Radiohead – “Pyramid Song”
Yeah, we know, another downbeat tune,
but we’re getting a theme going, dammit!
Chicago – “Another Rainy Day in New
York City”
Though it may not technically be raining in New York this Sunday, and technically the stadium is across the river in New Jersey, wherever Seattle's heart goes, so goes the rain...
Bear in Heaven – “Deafening Love”
This one is in honor of our famous 12th
Man’s deafening love at home in the CLink…
Clinic – “The Second Line”
And this one is in honor of the
Seahawks Secondary, which is (wait for it) second to (wait for it some more) none…
The Verve – “Lucky Man”
No one but Russell Wilson could begin the biggest game of his young career by giving up a fumble-ception (maybe the ball was "fire in [his] hands" and simply too hot to hold) on the very first play and still come away with a ticket to the Super Bowl at the end of it...
The Jesus Lizard – “Mouth Breather”
Don’t get us wrong, Peyton Manning is a
nice guy, we like him just fine…but he’s a mouth breather. (And all he can
think about is when he can get a Bud Light in that
mouth.)
Fugazi – “Turnover”
Because Seattle is gonna make Denver have so many turnovers!
Maserati – “Who Can Find the Beast?”
Who can find the Beast Mode? Not
Denver! Suck it. We're not done yet!...
Smog – “I Break Horses”
Some poignant reflection
will perhaps be in order after all that potential butt kicking, before triumphantly
capping it all of with...
Oasis – “Live Forever”
…the Universe’s aforementioned favorite
band. You can’t beat the logic: if you’re going to win forever, first you gotta
live forever. And what better guide to
help you slide away into eternal life than Noel Gallagher getting his Slash on with
that Win Forever Guitar Solo?!
GO SEAHAWKS!
